".....THE BABIES...... THEY KNOW....."

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Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight .

 Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."

Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.

Question: What is the full form of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

Teacher: Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student: A holiday

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

 

 

 

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the

violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for
about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was
calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of
them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician
playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then
hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman
threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him,
but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he
was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother
tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the
violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to
walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by
several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced
them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and
stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk
their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and
silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there
any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best
musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces
ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a
theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro
station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social
experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The
outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour:
Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize
the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best
musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many
other things are we missing?

 

First-year students at Texas A & M's Vet school were
attending their first Anatomy class, with a dead pig.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body
covered with a White sheet. The professor started the class by
telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have
two important qualities as a
Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything
involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor
pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the
dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go
ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But
eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the
dead pig and tasted in their mouth.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said,
'The Second most important quality is observation. I touched
with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now learn
to pay attention...

Moral of the story:
Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher when you are Stupid....

Ghajini Effect

 

 

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....

So, I took her to a gas station.....

And that's how the fight started.

 

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********

 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

 

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.

You might have gotten disability, too' And that's how the fight started.

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

 

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

 

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

 

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's how the fight started.

 

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* **

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

 

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

 

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

 

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

 

And that's how the fight started. .

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 
 

 
 
 

 
 

 

 
 

 
Bye Bye JUMBO
 

 
Please GO DADA
 

 
 

 
 
 

 
 

 

 
 

 
 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
Raju Raju sat on the wall
Raju Raju had a great fall
Balance sheet died
Shareholders cried
Raju Raju made a fraud

Raju Raju Yes  PAPA  Cheating us No PAPA   Telling Lies No PAPA   Open the balance sheet !  HA HA HA